You…yea you! Did you know that you are exactly right where you need to be?? Embrace it!
“I know people who graduated college at 21 and didn’t get a salary job until they were 27, I know people who graduated at 25 and already had a salary job. I know people who have children and are single, I know people who are married and had to wait 8-10 years to be parents. I know people who are in a relationship and love someone else, I know people who love each other and aren’t together, there are people waiting to love and be loved. My point, is everything in life happens according to our time, our clock. You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they’re not, they’re living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient. You’re not falling behind, it’s just not your time.” -Julissa Loaiza
Hey friends. Happy weekend eve. You aren’t at work right now because technically it’s a holiday. If you are at work then stop what you are doing, go home and pour yourself a glass of wine because I just made it a holiday. I WISH!!! Wouldn’t 3 day weeks and 4 day weekends all year round be the bomb.com. Ummm, yes palease!
So…Julissa…my girl (kidding, I don’t really know who she is), you seriously said it perfectly. Like this quote is worthy of a mic drop. But she is so, so right. As I was scrolling through Facebook this quote appeared on my feed. I am not sure if it was a coincidence but that was the same day my husband was offered a full time engineering position. That is the thing we have been celebrating! If you know us as a couple at all then you know that we have been patiently (or not so patiently if you ask some people) waiting for this! If not, then let me make a long story short.
My husband and I have been together since we were 19 (we are almost 27, so we are going on 8 years). My husband worked in the factory for the first year of our relationship but then after that got a job in retail when he was 20 years old. He has worked in retail ever since and some of it has been commission based retail….like you better be good with customers or else you are only bringing home $5 an hour. Ain’t nobody got time for that, mama likes to eat. Anyways, it was fine when we were dating and living with our parents because we wouldn’t see each other every day anyways. But when we got married that changed everything. We have been married for almost 3 years and he has had to work like 95% of the weekends and a decent amount of nights unless he took them off because we had a commitment. So that left me sitting at home alone on the weekends because everyone else was either spending time with their significant other or their families because they worked a 9-5, Monday through Friday job and that is just what you do. And since he worked every single weekend we couldn’t do anything. I would go places without him and would get asked where he was and it was the same answer every time…he was at work. Everyone else was there but he couldn’t be. This has been our life for 8 years and it will finally come to an end this month!
I can’t tell you how excited I am to be able to do something with him on a Saturday because it has been months since he has had one off. Our first years of marriage consisted of me working a full time, 9-5 job, Monday through Friday and his job was every single weekend and some shifts during the week until 9:00pm. Now don’t get me wrong, I am extremely thankful that this was the only thing that we had to worry about, I know some have it much worse. Some people go months without seeing their significant other at all, I commend your strength! Our health was good and we had family to support us; but in a marriage it’s just the two of you. Your family and friends are there to talk things through with you but you and your spouse are in it together, just the two of you and there are certain obstacles that you have to get through together. I tried not to compare myself to our friends, but sometimes it was hard. And then I got sad and it was just a vicious, painful cycle.
So getting to my point, while most of our friends had their careers started and a steady income we were a little bit behind, struggling to figure out how to get our life started and grow as a family (not now, but in the near future!). So yes, Julissa really hit the nail on the head because everything does happen according to HIS plan. We knew that once Nate started in his career other life changing events would start to fall into place and maybe we just weren’t ready for that. So if you are single and ready to mingle, maybe it is just not your time yet. If you are trying to start a family but it isn’t happening as fast as you would have hoped, don’t fall a part and don’t compare yourself to your friends that have been blessed with a child (that just means you get to be the cool Aunt/Uncle first and obvi get some practice in!). Never try to rush life because you won’t be able to truly enjoy it. We all have a clock and can’t compare ourselves to others. We can’t be so impatient that we are driving ourselves crazy. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Don’t plan out every aspect of your life because things don’t always go according to our plan.
But I want you to know that if you struggle with something similar, you are not alone. Everyone else doesn’t have everything figured out, they have struggles of their own. But you drive yourself bonkers by comparing!